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Joke of the Day

"The older I get, the more sympathize with Squidward's anger."

"Hey guys keep up the ""Bush did 9/11"" tweets I think the pressure is really grinding his gears"

"*Sandra Bullock floating around in the background of all the new Star Wars movies*"

"A 79 year old pirate has his next birthday this morning.... he wakes up and says to his crew, ""AYE-matey!"""

"A flyer says to another flyer: ""Yo, wanna hang out tonight?"" The other one replies: ""Brochure!"""

"Did you read about the skeleton trapped in the freezer? It was a bone-chilling story."

"What do Hitler, Stalin, Mussolini and Ayn Rand have in common? They are all dead."

"Ive always wanted to be an artist. I draw and paint everyday. But im already 25 so im going to do what bruce jenner did and wait 40 years until im nearly dead."

"Did you hear about the two horses? They were in a stable relationship... ...but one of them had an extra mareital affair."

"Being a great father is like shaving. No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow."