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Joke of the Day

"Being a great father is like shaving. No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow."

"Love is one long sweet dream... and marriage is the alarm clock."

"I've been seeing a lot of commercials for lawsuits concerning metal on metal hip implants. I'm going back in time and getting a hipster implant, before metal was cool."

"My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed."

"What happened when Dumbo went to a mindrreader? They gave him his money back."

"Do you know what they say about guys who have big feet? They say ""Do you know what they say about guys who have big feet?"""

"Did you hear about the man that slept on corduroy pillow? No? I'm surprised, it made headlines!"

"A man with a mirror leaves a party... ... and says ""I'll see myself out."""

"Boobie joke..... (slightly NSFW?) How do you describe/measure a certain amount of boobies? In 'quantitties'."

"What's it called when a terrorist's wife cheats with an American? Infidel-ity."