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Joke of the Day
"Just moved out on my own and am doing really well... All my bills say im outstanding"
Next Joke
"CW: I think you're two-faced Me: Why don't you say that to my face CW: I just did! Me: No. My other face."
"Everything my three year old says is like listening to a weird roommate describe their LSD dreams."
"Beyonce's birthday list: 1) The (former) planet Pluto 2) Maybach factory 3) The Taj Mahal 4) Lost city of Atlantis 5) Facebook"
"How did the dog feel when he lost his flashlight? Delighted."
"I've got a new habit. And a naked dead nun."
"What's long, hard, 6 inches, and makes the ladies scream when it's put in their mouth or up their vagina? A knife."
"clock always late The woman says to the husband: Dear, today the clock fell from the wall of the room and i left that place just 5 seconds ago. Husband : Damn clock,Always late..."
"My diet this week consisted of 6 cheat days"
"What Did The Jumbo Shrimp Say To The Jumbo Crab? ""Looks like you've got me in a pinch."""