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Joke of the Day
"[warning: Dad joke] What country has the most internet crimes? E-gypt"
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"I walked out naked one time and she's like wtf. And I'm like this is how god made me! And she's like no that's how beer and tacos made you."
"If you dress in cowboy clothes does that mean you're ranch dressing?"
"Good choice putting $4,000 rims on your 1998 Honda Civic. That's like Betty White going out and getting her tits done."
"How do you make a chicken salad? Make a salad and give it to a chicken."
"What did one pancake say to the others as it was tossed off the griddle into the air? See you on the flip side."
"My friend said she was taking next week off to be with her new puppy. I said, ""You're taking mutt-ernity leave?"""
"The best part of Robocop is when they spent billions of dollars making a cyborg super soldier instead of helping Detroit not be awful."
"I wonder if people with eye patches thought it was all fun and games."
"[meeting at round table] ""King Arthur, if I may?"" ""Go ahead."" ""Castles but bouncier."" ""Bouncy castles?"" ""But you gotta take your shoes off."""