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Joke of the Day

"My dog gave birth recently. My dog gave birth to a litter of 8 puppies. We named one puppy johnny, he is a real son of a bitch"

"On your first day in jail, when they ask you what you're in there for, say ""the food"" so all the other prisoners know you're a loose cannon."

"Wouldn't mind having a bonus hole that fireworks shot out of when I got confused."

"There are 10 kinds of people in this world, those who understand binary, those who don't, and those who weren't expecting a trinary joke."

"I met a man whose feet were always asleep. I guess you could say he was comatoes."

"If I played Edward Scissor Hands in paper, rock, scissors every once in a while I'd throw a paper in there so he wouldn't feel too bad."

"Did I tell you I'm dating a midget? I'm nuts over her."

"Genie: What is your first wish? joe: i want to be rich. genie: granted. what is your second wish? rich: i want lots of money."

"Why do we use whiteboards instead of blackboards? Because black boards matter."

"Reenacting the Civil War seems like a lot of work. I'd much rather reenact the Cola War from my couch. First is the battle of Whiskey."