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Joke of the Day

"[At auto store] Employee: How can we get you to walk out of here with 4 tires? ""Sir, you are wildly overestimating my strength."""

Next Joke
 
"Why are there so many Chinese people? Because as soon as you fuck a Chinese girl, you're horny again half an hour later."
"Ever had sex while camping? ... ITS FUCKING INTENTS"
"Everyone always makes fun of my man purse until I bust out a bottle of wine, a bag of weed, a bong, milk, cookies and a cheese platter."
"Both of my marriages have been disappointing. My first wife left me and my second one didn't.marr"
"What do you call a hippopotamus wearing Tie Dye? ... A hippiepotamus"
"How do you ask a priest to hand you the spaghetti? Pasta pasta, pasta."
"In what direction do five gay guys walk? One Direction"
"A man walks into a bar... ... because he didn't see it."
"Missing LSD tablets Hey Gran, you haven't seen my tablets, they're labelled LSD. Gran: Fuck your tablets, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen!"