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Joke of the Day

"[At auto store] Employee: How can we get you to walk out of here with 4 tires? ""Sir, you are wildly overestimating my strength."""

Next Joke
 
"How does a bassist's brain cell die? Alone."
"So now they're feeding cow marijuana infused grain? That isn't for me... ...those steaks are too high."
"The England Football team..... visited a Brazilian orphanage this morning. 'It's heartbreak to see their sad little faces with no hope' said Jose, age 6."
"Hell is nothing but a bunch of moms asking for help with their laptops."
"What do you call El Chapo suffering from seizures? Narcolepsy"
"Can of sardines in Soviet Union A man in the 80s in Soviet Union buys a can of sardines. He opens it and it's empty, but there is a little note in it: ""Not a winner"""
"When I treat people the way I want to be treated, they get weirded out when I start brushing their hair."
"How do you make a small fortune in the movie industry? You spend a large fortune *ba dum tiss*"
"People keep asking me today ""So you have a new boss?"" No, I'm still with my wife."