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Joke of the Day

"Me: Both of our hamsters died and we just can't part with them Taxidermist: Would you like them mounted? Me: Um no, just holding hands"

"What do Saddam Hussein and Little Miss Muffet have in common? They both had kurds in their way. (Curds in their whey.) ***This joke is phonetically superior to its' written version."

"A boy went into the local department store where he saw a sign on the escalator - 'Dogs must be carried on this escalator.' The boy then spent the next tow hours looking for a dog."

"Why haven't you ever seen a hippo hiding in a tree? Because they are really good at it."

"What goes after foursome? Awesome..."

"I used to steal other people's jokes.... I still do. But I used to too."

"A termite walks into a bar... and asks, is the bar tender here?"

"I don't like damp things For the moist part"

"""What's the difference between sin and shame?"" ""It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out."""

"Half of my life has been spent hoping people don't see me."