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Joke of the Day
"My family tree is a cactus,,,,,, Yeah, we're mostly pricks."
Next Joke
"A senior partner with a herniated disc limps into a conference room Coworker 1: ""I feel like the world's moving in slow motion"" (pause) Coworker 1: ""Oh wait, it's just Charlie"" (motions at partner)"
"*cop sees chalk outline on family's driveway* ""Damn, a cute bunny was murdered"" ""No, the kids who live here drew that, the body's over here"""
"Trees Why couldn't the tree answer the trivia question? It was stumped."
"What did the banker use for birth control? His personality"
"I'm not late, I'm just giving you extra time to do shit on your phone."
"On a scale from one to ten, how obsessed with Harry Potter are you? About nine and three-quarters."
"I told my waiter the same thing i told my plastic surgeon. Give me chicken breasts."
"I got a resume from a kid with the last name ""Arriola"". I'm bringing him in for an interview solely to make nipple jokes."
"How do epileptics keep fit? With strobe lights."