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Joke of the Day

"*peeing in the urinal at McDonalds* *turns to the guy peeing in the other urinal* ""So, what did you order?"""

"Did you hear about the vampire bicycle that went round biting people's arms off? It was a vicious cycle."

"I think this sub is dying There hasn't been a post ALL YEAR!"

"DiCaprio movie endings; Shutter Island: is he dead? Titanic: is the boat dead? Romeo & Juliet: is everyone dead? Inception: am I dead?"

"There are 10 types of people in the world... those who understand binary and those who don't."

"What's the difference between a microwave and a Muslim? A microwave doesn't blow up every time the timer goes off."

"Lenin, Hitler, and Stalin were in a plane crash. Who was saved? The Russian people"

"Why was Jesus not born in Australia? Because God could not find three wise men and a virgin."

"A termite walks into a bar and asks: ""Is the bar tender here?"""

"How much does a Polar Bear weigh? Enough to lower your standards, I'm moonsout_goonsout"