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Joke of the Day

"Wife finds her husband watching tv Man yells, 'No don't do it!' Man yells louder, 'Don't do it, you idiot!' Wife asks, 'What are you watching?' Man says 'Our wedding tape.'"

"Why is the ocean salty? Because the land never waves back."

"What happened to the gay dude whose lover kicked him out his house? He is Homoless"

"Hamlet gets a cough So, Hamlet is admitted to a hospital for a cough. He asks the doctors: ""TB or not TB"""

"The cemetery down the street seems like it's a pretty exclusive club People are dying to get in"

"Procrastination has taught me how to do 30 minutes of work in 8 hours and 8 hours of work in 30 minutes."

"Please women who wear 1 inch heels. What's the point? You look ridiculous. What difference does 1 inch really make? Don't answer that."

"The future The world in 10 years... MTV announcer: a new punk rock band making its way to the top 100... Band leader: I'm sorry did you just assume our genre?"

"Written on the Bathroom Wall... *Here I sit Broken-hearted Tried to rhyme Couldn't even get the meter right.*"

"""Pikachu, use astonish!"" *Leans into opponent's ear* ""Jet fuel can't melt steel beams."""