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Joke of the Day

"I keep my head held high because I know there's a beautiful deaf, mute & blind woman out there that's going to find me irresistible one day."

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"Never Dance Naked Never dance naked because the body has parts that do not stop moving when the music stops."
"I'm high as a kite tied to Columbia... ...will explode any time."
"What did the guy with bad internet get? Loading..."
"""That sucked."" -Elephants who just saw The Peanuts Movie"
"What kind of weapon does a seasoned vet use? A salt rifle."
"What did Blackbeard say to the girl who was dressed as a sexy pirate for Halloween? ""Land Hoe!"""
"""HULK WANT LOAN."" Bank: ""We can't loan to people like you."" ""GREEN SKIN PEOPLE??"" Bank: ""No, people who owe 2.6M in property damage."""
"BLONDE ALE Q: What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? A: They're both empty from the neck up."
"Avoid cars that have a sign saying 'baby on board'. That driver has only had a couple of hours sleep and is likely to be suicidal."