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Joke of the Day

"I keep my head held high because I know there's a beautiful deaf, mute & blind woman out there that's going to find me irresistible one day."

"Never Dance Naked Never dance naked because the body has parts that do not stop moving when the music stops."

"I'm high as a kite tied to Columbia... ...will explode any time."

"What did the guy with bad internet get? Loading..."

"""That sucked."" -Elephants who just saw The Peanuts Movie"

"What kind of weapon does a seasoned vet use? A salt rifle."

"What did Blackbeard say to the girl who was dressed as a sexy pirate for Halloween? ""Land Hoe!"""

"""HULK WANT LOAN."" Bank: ""We can't loan to people like you."" ""GREEN SKIN PEOPLE??"" Bank: ""No, people who owe 2.6M in property damage."""

"BLONDE ALE Q: What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? A: They're both empty from the neck up."

"Avoid cars that have a sign saying 'baby on board'. That driver has only had a couple of hours sleep and is likely to be suicidal."