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Joke of the Day

"I always cry before getting intimate with a girl Does someone have tips against pepperspray?"

"[doctors] ""How long have I got?"" ""Not long. Two, three months"" [casually places apple on desk] ""Ok, ok, six. Just get that out of here!"""

"Why was Lisa not able to ride a bike? She was a cat."

"What do you do for a living? I herd cattle. Ah, you're a rancher? No, I'm a Zumba instructor."

"""What did two years of Spanish classes teach you in high school?"" Nadar"

"Hygiene No my name is dad not Gene."

"What's a bounty hunter's favorite cheese? Fetta"

"It's international women's day. But apparently my local strip club didn't get the memo. Went there today and all the girls were from my country. No international women at all."

"THEM: You can't go wrong with this recipe. ME: Watch me."

"I once ate a watch It was time consuming, I didn't go back for seconds."