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Joke of the Day

"Lets not kid ourselves, if the zombie apocalypse broke out, there are a couple people we would swear were zombies so we could shoot them"

"What was Sisyphus's favourite type of music? Rock 'n' Roll"

"Jews rated their trip to auschwitz It was one star"

"You guys got any good old jokes (example inside) Example: Did you go to school by horse? I like to mess with my tennis teacher, he is over 50 and he gives it right back to me by how bad i play."

"What's the difference between an elephant and a police car? On the elephant, the trunk is in the front and the asshole is in the rear. Cop here, so everyone laugh it up!"

"Ted Cruz is complaining about ""liberal fascism,"" so I guess he's just stringing random unrelated words together, like ""potato doorknob."""

"If I had a dollar for every woman that thought I was ugly... Eventually they wouldn't think I was ugly."

"Are you guys gonna enjoy your weekend I'm not I'll probably obsess over the problems I create in my mind then maybe eat something I regret"

"Where did the English teacher and the student fight? in the MLA boxing ring"

"Life dull? Add 'or die trying' to every statement. ""I'm gonna pick up milk on the way home OR DIE TRYING."" Instant excitement."