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Joke of the Day

"Lets not kid ourselves, if the zombie apocalypse broke out, there are a couple people we would swear were zombies so we could shoot them"

"My neighbors son asked me to explain women to him. So I bought him an Xbox game for his PlayStation."

"My nieces just asked me if God is real. I'm tired so I'm just going to show them ""The Exorcist."" This babysitting stuff is a breeze!"

"I think my friend might be gay... His dick tastes like shit."

"If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Genocide."

"A homeless man told me this one. (Kinda NSFW) Why do women have two pairs of lips? One to bitch with, and one to apologize with."

"She asked me to go deeper so I started quoting Nietzsche"

"As a Brandon, I'm constantly at war with Brendans. Do not confuse them with my kind. They are shit demons. Slaying them is my birthright."

"Have I been shadow banned? Nevermind, turns out my comments just suck."

"I once stayed in a motel that was so seedy, the Bible in the drawer only had 7 commandments"