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Joke of the Day

"What's that, turkey? GOBBLE GOBBLE Timmy fell in a well? GOBBLE GOBBLE [breaks turkey's neck] no time for your riddles, in the oven you go"

"Whenever I have to park in a bad neighbourhood I leave my Blackberry in plain sight so people know there's nothing worth stealing in my car"

"What was Mark Hamill's reaction when he finished reading The Force Awakens script? Speechless"

"How much does a hipster weigh? One instagram."

"Why does it suck to be an egg? You have to share a room with 11 guys. And it takes you 4 minute to get hard and 2 minute to get soft. The worst part? The only woman that sits on your face is your mom."

"So in between the 4 seconds that I missed your call and managed to call ya back, you've fallen off the face of the earth??"

"We're decorating the tree with the kids today. But now that they're teens it's harder to find branches that will support their weight."

"Why are Americans so bad at League of Legends? They can't defend their towers."

"Hi! This is my first time in a Fitness Center. How do I start? Personal Trainer: By putting down that Pizza slice!"

"What do you call a group of philosophers? An argument."