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Joke of the Day

"I hate barbers more than doctors Because I have to live with the shit that one does."

"What's the Difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts? One's $2.50 and the Other's Under a Buck!"

"I couldn't find the thingy that peels the carrots and potatoes, so I asked the kids if they'd seen it Apparently, she left me a few days ago"

"What did the wall ask the picture? (All together now!) ***""How's it hangin'?""*** ~Skip"

"The squirrels on campus are getting bold. I was eating a pop tart outside and a squirrel came over and stole my credit card information"

"what do bieber and grumpy cat have in common? What do bieber and grumpy cat have in common? They are both pussies who were discovered on the internet."

"Patient: Doctor, doctor I don't know what's wrong with me. Sometimes I think I am a wigwam and sometimes I think I'm a teepee. Doctor: Relax Mr. Robinson, you're two tents."

"who is the most fun on a missing persons case? the search party animal!"

"Live today like it's your last day. But pay bills and dress appropriately just in case it isn't."

"Sometimes when my family is especially ungrateful, I don't wash the vegetables when I make their salads."