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Joke of the Day

"How come no one tries to blow up the Pope? I thought he was inflatable."

"[doorbell] 4: *opens door Hi, is your mom home? 4: she's in the tower mom: whispers from behind door ""no no no it's SHOWER not tower!"""

"What did the tectonic plate say to the other tectonic plate when he bumped into the him? Sorry, my fault."

"Psychiatrist to the patient: - Your case is clear. You have double personality. Please, pay bill $ 100 for the consultation... - *Keep $ 50. The rest will make the second one*"

"What do you call Jewish coffee? Hebrew"

"""You're going to love my friend. He's hilarious."" is still the best way to know you're about to meet an annoying person."

"Cop: license and registration please. Me: (gives cop both) Cop: you drinking tonight? Me: no. Cop: you handed me 2 empty beer cans."

"I don't want you to feel like you can't express yourself, but I do want you to stop talking."

"What's does a black man have in common with a tornado? It only takes one to ruin a good neighbourhood"

"Why Didn't The Skeleton Go To The Party? Because he had no body to go with"