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Joke of the Day

"*shipwrecked diary* Day 1: alone, doing well. Mentally sound. Met a crab Day 2: crab seems untrustworthy Day 3: CRA B LEAR N ING TO WRI TE"

"Ugh, I hate social media. (please validate this opinion via social media)"

"I think I'm a genius.... I just solved a rubiks cube so fast! It only took me 5 minutes and 25 seconds to peel off all the stickers."

"A report indicates Viagra can cause temporary hearing loss in men. So guys, you can have sex, but you can't hear the woman talk afterwards. In a related story, Viagra sales have skyrocketed."

"What Mrs. Dumpty gave Humpty?"

"Love is like a unicorn. I don't have a unicorn."

"Did you hear about the kidnapping at the school? It's okay...he woke up."

"Are you a Farmer? Cause you know how to raise a cock!"

"How do you kill a circus troupe? Go for the juggler."

"I need to get baked ...goods for the staff party this afternoon."