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Joke of the Day

"She told me if I turned off the light I could put it in her butt I guess I should have let the bulb cool first."

"LPT: How to keep time on your hands Get a watch."

"What do you call a loaf of bread when you cut off both ends? Endless Bread!"

"Did you hear about the drug that cures lesbianism? It's called TrisedixagenTM And for men, try IgnordacocTM"

"Every fifteen minutes, a teenager crashes his car due to texting and driving. I hope he gives up, because he's obviously not good at it."

"I heard the chief of police on the news saying ""we will never forget 9 11"" I should bloody hope so its your phone number"

"[taking baby's shoes off & examining the soles] ""Oh look, completely clean. It's almost as if you were carried everywhere."""

"My son was on eBay this morning No bids yet"

"The local cemetery has been really popular lately People are dying to get in."

"Why don't you slip into something more comfortable ...like a coma."