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Joke of the Day

"What's the final digit of the square root of 2 (2)? I don't know, sometimes radicals can be irrational."

"So Nicole Scherzinger has gone from Lewis Hamilton to Ed Sheeran... Guess orange really is the new black."

"Hardcore I've just changed my first nappy. My wife doesn't like me wearing them but since I bought Call of Duty it means I get more game time."

"Another pirate joke. What is a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet...? ""Arrrrr?"" Nope... you'd think so, but it'd be the ""C."""

"The store keeps calling me to come back and buy more bedroom furniture, but all I really wanted was one night stand."

"If the human race has a ""signature move,"" its gotta be lying to the dentist about flossing."

"after watching the Cricket for a few hours I think I finally understand it they make that noise by rubbing their wings together"

"[Desert island] Me: JANE! Jane: What? M: It's a boat! J: HEEEEEEEEELP! Me writing: Day 286, Jane is still scared of boats"

"Your huge boobs really bring out my eyes."

"What do the Enterprise and and toilet paper have in common? They both circle around Uranus searching for klingons."