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Joke of the Day

"Your huge boobs really bring out my eyes."

"[Post fight interview w/ boxer Joey ""poor choice of words"" Stevens] Joey: ""I just couldn't get that guy to go down on me."""

"I just signed a deal with my liquor store that when I die I'll be stuffed in the Capt. Morgan pose and displayed inside their store."

"What do you call a gay philosopher? Pyfagoras"

"Two muffins are in an oven. The first says ""It sure is hot in here""... and the baker says, ""HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN"""

"What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches."

"I have noticed that everyone who is for abortion, has already been born."

"CRAIGSLIST AD: Wanted - chicken nugget shaped like Rafael. Have 2 Leonardo's, willing to trade. Serious offers only. No Michaelangelo's."

"The World Cup has an official song. The official anthem is ""We Will Find a Way."" It narrowly beat out the other contender, ""I Feel Someone's Teeth in My Shoulder."""

"I'm the king of letting my phone ring for a while before I pick it up so it seems like I'm busy"