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Joke of the Day

"Hardcore I've just changed my first nappy. My wife doesn't like me wearing them but since I bought Call of Duty it means I get more game time."

"$100 dollar bill.... a guy leaves of a building and looks up and says that $100 bill is mine, that $100 dollar bill is mine, and dies crushed by a mattress."

"I think Lady Gaga's next outfit should be made of spaghetti... If that's *pastable*"

"Did you hear the one about the gang that's throwing eggs at people and kicking their asses? No Yolks but that enough about the Beaters"

"I named my dick ""the fear of god"" now when my parents ask what im doing with my girlfriend i tell them im putting the fear of god in her"

"JFK and Abe Lincoln were two of the greatest president of all history. I think it's because they were so Open Minded."

"moms outraged over new ninja turtels movie. ""theres too much violence"" says one mom. says another ""they r named after guys who sculpt butts"""

"What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist fuck!"

"Sometimes I sit on my hand till it's numb so it feels like someone else is googling my name"

"""I wish there was a more convenient way to stalk others""- The phrase that started Facebook"