80580

Joke of the Day

"[Desert island] Me: JANE! Jane: What? M: It's a boat! J: HEEEEEEEEELP! Me writing: Day 286, Jane is still scared of boats"

"If Ursa Minor is made up of stars... is it safe to call it a Solar Bear?"

"I am the designated driver of 5 40ish women attending a wine tasting. Your thoughts and prayers are appreciated during this difficult time."

"Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? He doesn't want anybody to know he fuc%ing the chicken"

"What body of water separates Italy from the word 'goodbye'? River Derci. Sorry."

"Realized woman behind me at self-checkout line was from DMV. Made her wait 4 hours for her turn. Revenge is sweet."

"What's the difference between a 'hippo' and a 'Zippo'? One's really heavy, and the other's a little lighter. - [*Masai Graham*](https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-34039927)"

"What's A Jew's Favorite Kind of Drink? Concentrated."

"Two deer at a gay bar Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One turns and says to the other, ""I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks in there."""

"Today I broke a G string while fingering A minor Dammit, playing guitar is hard!"