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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guy who spilled beer on the stove? ... He had foam on the range."

"My girlfriend was devastated to find out that my mates call me The Love Machine' because I'm terrible at tennis."

"Pedophile Jokes? I got 3: If they can cross the street they can take the meat. If they can pee they're old enough for me. I'm like a game boy, kids turn me on. You guys got any others?"

"Why did the policeman stay in bed today? he was undercover *!*"

"I am suffering from Tinnitus Feminale... ... Everytime a women moves her lips, I hear a loud ringing."

"If you lost my trust, don't expect that sh*t back."

"My teen was complaining he had no clean clothes so I asked him what he thought he should do: ""Uh, go buy new clothes?"" Have kids. It's fun."

"Appreciation speech I'd like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My fingers, I can always count on them, and the sidewalks for keeping me off the streets I'm here all week."

"How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say ""Who's special?"""

"A wife tells her husband who works with computers that shes pregnant She later sees him on his computer clicking ctrl z"