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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a 7 year old redneck girl who can run faster than her brothers? A virgin."

"Daddy, why is grandma so bitter? I don't know, son; seems to run in the family. Your great uncle tasted awful"

"My friend wants to carve a Venus statue from a tree. That seems like it would take a while, woodentit?"

"So apparently the Phillies aren't serving beer this year... They lost the opener Stupid but its an Uncle joke so I had to"

"What sound does an Italian American microwave make? Bada bing!"

"My dad told me this one. Now, I'm not cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one."

"If I'm going to be this awake at 2:30 in the morning, I might as well go guard a factory or something."

"Created by Jews, saves humanity. Who, Jesus? No, dummy. Superman."

"Reflection vs Refraction the point at which I realize how lucky I am to not have an Asian professor."

"""Come with me if you want to live"" - Great movie line, bad thing to say during sex"