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Joke of the Day

"My financial advisor told me that I could catch up on my bills if I stopped buying so much pizza. We laughed and laughed. Then I fired him."

Next Joke
 
"Thanks to a hangover, I was the douche wearing sunglasses inside the airport today."
"I know they say faith.. I know they say faith can move mountains but we have all seen what it can do to skyscrapers."
"How do your organize a space party? You planet! (It won't turn out well though because it has no atmosphere.)"
"What the Girlfriend, the Mistress and the Wife say Girlfriend: Are you done already? Mistress: Are you done yet? Wife: Beige... I think I'll paint the ceiling beige..."
"So my sister is pregnant with her first child. I'm so happy to finally be a father!"
"Will trump get a second term? Does it look like I have 2020 vision?"
"What do you call it when you get an erection at a funeral? Mourning Wood."
"""I just launched a new fragrance!"" - fun way to announce a fart"
"""Hey Evolution, what the fuck?"" - Platypus"
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