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Joke of the Day

"Solar radiation has turned the American flags on the moon pure white... Now it looks like France landed there..."

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"It weirds me out my phone won't swear. What, is it religious?"
"I climbed on a tree with a suitcase. My aim is to become a branch manager."
"How many times do I have to say ""excuse me"" before ""get the f*ck out of my way"" becomes acceptable?"
"Me - ""Hey kiddo, you have your shoes on the wrong feet"" My 6 year old - ""I ain't got no other feet"""
"How do you get Squirtle, Charmander and Pikachu onto a bus? You pokemon."
"What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds."
"Political Correctness is out of hand You can't even say ""black paint"" anymore, You have to say ""Tyrone, please paint my fence."""
"It's been scientifically proven that women who worry are smart. I must be a freaking genius."
"Why do people say ""fat people are lazy""? Fat people get themselves food, I'm skinny because I'm too lazy to get myself food."
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