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Joke of the Day

"Dad: When you turn 18, I'm taking you to the strip club. Teen: Of course not dad! Dad: Oh shut up Jessica, it's time for you to start bringing money to the house."

"Don't tell them but... I write horrible things about illiterate people."

"Conjunctivitis.com That's a site for sore eyes"

"What kind of car did Jesus drive? a manual."

"87% of my day is spent remembering my kids names and my anniversary and stuff and the other 57% is trying to do math."

"Bruce Willis is at the supermarket, standing by the cucumbers & laughing hysterically, pointing at them with tears streaming down his face"

"Wanna hear a good dick joke? ...hold on, it's coming."

"A new study says eating sugar will kill you and was conducted by the No Shit Sherlock Research Institute."

"Do you know what the twins were doing in the wigwam? I can't tell you... it's *two-in-tents*."

"I used to have a fear of speed bumps But I'm slowly getting over it"