28283

Joke of the Day

"What is a prime way of knowing when a retard is thirsty? He'll have water on the brain."

"People often ask me if weed hurts memory I'd tell them but i don't remember."

"I'm a take me or leave me kind of girl. Wait, where ya going?"

"Everyone in LA is so hot and I am so not that when I walk into places they think I'm a dog and they give me treats & water never been better"

"A woman walks into a green grocers. She asks the man behind the counter for a cucumber. He asks her: ""Whole or sliced?"" She replies: ""I've got a fanny, not a fucking slot machine!"""

"I scream, you scream, this funeral just got more interesting."

"Who's Boss? Boss is like a diaper always on your ass and full of Sh*t...!!"

"What is Hitler's least favorite letter? The gas bill."

"[Chaperoning field trip] ME BEFORE WE GO: Only rule is don't lose any kids. AFTER I LOSE A KID: New rule. You're allowed to lose one kid."

"There's nothing like shaving off your beard to remind everybody why your face needed a beard."