97949

Joke of the Day

"Why was Bob Marley fired from being a tennis announcer? Because he kept calling ""One Love"""

"Another knee-slapper by my 8 year old brother. Which president likes doing laundry? George WASHING-A-TON. He's the 8 year old white Kevin Hart."

"[train station] Man: hey you. Woman: Hi. M: i'm Christian. W: That's a pickup line? *rolls eyes, walks away M: ugh. i hate my name."

"When I see a girl with a lot of makeup, I want to use my finger & write ""WASH ME"" on her face."

"I sneezed real hard, and while I did not break any bones, I did sustain some tissue damage."

"It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles, that you realise... ...there is always a way to solve problems, without using violence."

"I get it, you have a philosophy degree, but I just want you to make my latte, not wax poetic about life, okay Baristotle? Extra foam please."

"Getting over a musical upbringing is as simple as a 1, 2, a 1, 2, 3, 4."

"I'm really good at telling old jokes, and fixing fences... I guess I'm just good at reposting"

"I jerk off roughly once a day. I try to be a little more loving and gentle the other 2-3."