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Joke of the Day

"What does spinach and anal sex have in common? If they were forced on you as a child you probably don't like them as an adult."

"Don't forget the 3 most important factors in choosing the right words for a ubiquitous real estate mantra: Locution, locution, locution. *twitter: @chippedbeef*"

"They say that if you are bad in this life, you re-encarnate into a 'Nickelback' song in the next one."

"Why did the girl walk past her crush twice? He didn't believe in love at first sight."

"What?s green and fluffy and comes from mars? A martian-mellow"

"The U.K. Summarized in two sentences. ""No Scotland, you cannot leave the UK."" ""Hey Scotland, let's leave the EU."""

"For Halloween my husband asked me to dress up as a nurse, cause that's one of his fantasies: That we have health care."

"Nsfw how do you pick up a Jewish girl? With a dust pan."

"The reason cats are so pissy is they're God's perfect killing machines but they only weigh 8lbs and we keep picking them up and kissing them"

"What was a poor Roman citizen's favorite breakfast? Fruity Plebbles."