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Joke of the Day

"Advice to the worm Sleep in late!"

"Just bought a thesaurus at the store and brought it home to find out the pages are all blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am."

"Why are 90 degree angles so cocky? Because they are always right"

"Wondering why Google has a black ribbon today... I think I forgot something."

"10 Seldom-Used Batteries that Might be Depleted... #7 will shock you!"

"How did the medical community come up with the term ""PMS""? ""Mad Cow Disease"" was already taken."

"PSA: If you've got an Islamic dog... Muslim"

"God: ""MOSES. THIS IS THE LORD. I HAVE NEWS FOR YOUR PEOPLE."" Moses: ""New burning bush. Who dis?"""

"COP: We have reports of u blasting music. ME: Sorry I'll keep the Metallica down COP: We were told it was Britney Spears ""Lucky."" On repeat."

"A little old lady walked into the bank cashed a small check and started out. Passing the armed guard she smiled and said ""You can go home now."""