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Joke of the Day
"""When I was your age, I invented the time machine"" I told my Granddad."
Next Joke
"Damn girl, are you a Muse song? Because on the outside you're ablaze and alive, but you're dead inside."
"What do you call a man with no shins? Tony."
"The man who invented the jigsaw has died. May he rest in pieces."
"A man sitting in a publisher's office has his memoir turned down for a third time... He sighed and said ""story of my life."""
"What did Missy Elliot say to Tony Abbot? Is it worth it?"
"With his campaign struggling, Ben Carson seeks to appeal more to a mainstream and humanize himself with a new campaign slogan... Once you go black, you never go back. Carson 2016"
"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. I would like you to join my professional network on LinkedIn."
"I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. Then he was chuffed to bits."
"Going to McDonald's for a salad is like going to a whorehouse for a hug."