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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a man with no shins? Tony."
Next Joke
"Sea Shells Why do mermaids wear sea shells? Because the D shells are to big."
"[job interview] Interviewer: ""Describe yourself in 2 words."" Me: ""Atinubs. Econsibu."" Interviewer: ""You're hired. Welcome to CAPTCHA."""
"What do a marriage and superglue have in common? They both form a bond in seconds, last (ideally) forever, and are dissolved by alcohol."
"Yea, autocorrect, I meant ""nymph"" instead of ""my phone"" because I am a 16th Century poet."
"What's the worst part about having Alzheimer's? To get to the other side"
"Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton are on a boat that is sinking, who survives? America."
"So I discovered that one of my herbs went off today. It was just a matter of thyme. xxx"
"As a software developer, I like my bugs how I like my women Unable to reproduce."
"Girlfriend kept nagging at me to put the toilet seat down. So here I am, crying in the middle of a field, with the seat & a shotgun."