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Joke of the Day

"I hate when I give people nicknames like ""stupid face"" on my phone and I cant remember who the stupid face is."

"I am the Dread Pirate Roberts of poverty. Taking ever increasing doses, hoping that one day I'll become immune."

"What is the difference between an Eskimo and a eunuch? One is a frigid midget with a rigid digit, the other is a massive vassal with a passive tassel (found this in Horace's Satires)"

"I got probed by an alien last night Its true what they say, Mexicans do work good with their hands"

"What do you call a gold fish with no teeth? A shit-fuck McGee."

"Which southeast Asian drink is more popular, the iced tea or the coffee? Neither. It's a Thai."

"How did Jeffrey Dahmer make alphabet soup? With 26 characters he met at a party."

"I started studying Tai Chi, so I wouldn't recommend getting in a slow-motion fight with me..."

"What did the white high school dropout get for his birthday? A legacy scholarship for his second choice school"

"I find it really hard to tell jokes on reddit. I always punch up the fuckline."