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Joke of the Day

"I got probed by an alien last night Its true what they say, Mexicans do work good with their hands"

"I'm circumcised but I'm looking to change that. Anyone have any tips?"

"Executive: What should we name the mutant with neato magnetic powers? Me: [clearly joking] How about Mag-Neato? Exec: damn that's so good"

"What's the difference between the United States and some yoghurt? After 200 years, the Yoghurt develops a culture."

"What kind of murderer has moral fiber? A cereal killer"

"4 different views of a tunnel PESSIMIST: Dark tunnel. OPTIMIST: Light at the end of the tunnel. REALIST: A train. TRAIN OPERATOR: 3 idiots standing on the tracks."

"I like my women how I like my wine. 8 years old and locked in a cellar."

"If sex is said to be the best exercise than why are there no fitness clubs for that. Now there's idea. . ."

"I measure my kids' ages in terms of percent complete out of eighteen years. My kids are 22% and 38%."

"Every single morning I get hit by the same bike It's a vicious cycle."