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Joke of the Day

"why are people so disgusted when someone farts around them? I mean, come on, a little gas never killed anyone"

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"TIFU Your girl was on my lap"
"Headphone Jack [Removed]"
"Why don't black people go on cruise ships? They're not falling for that one again."
"When is the best time to eat fast food? *Fri*day!"
"My wife just left me because i cant stop using double negatives. But in my opinion I haven't done nothing wrong."
"Why is it called a 'dad-bod' and not a 'father-figure'?"
"What is the hardest part about eating a vegetable? the wheelchair"
"What do you call a man who sells clockwork toys? A Wind-up Merchant."
"As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices - take it or leave it."