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Joke of the Day
"*walks into library* ""Excuse me, where are your books about asking librarians out on dates?"""
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"I heard a noise downstairs, so naturally I came down to investigate in my towel, post-shower. Exactly. I'M the idiot in a slasher film."
"Why can't Indiana Jones find a long lasting relationship? Bad dates."
"What did the tree do when he got really nervous? He SOILed his pants I'll^see^myself^out..."
"Which is the most dangerous animal in the Northern Hemisphere? Yak the Ripper"
"Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay.. they'd be bagels!"
"I'm the guy that lures fragile old ladies into my windowless van at night with Werthers Originals.Then safley escort them to the bingo hall."
"They should put barf bags in all the voting booths this year."
"Last night a girl told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt... So I fucked her twice and punched her in the head."
"A woman is doing the dishes when the front door opens... ...and in walks Nicholas Cage."