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Joke of the Day

"The four stages of life: 1. You believe in Santa 2. You don't believe in Santa 3. You dress up like Santa 4. You look like Santa"

"Young enough to know I can, old enough to know I shouldn't, stupid enough to do it anyway."

"Women who want to renew your wedding vows.... Why not renew the bachelorette party? You'd probably have more fun."

"I'm into cryogenics. All the cool kids are doing it."

"What do you call a Frenchman with eleven penises? Jean Cocteau"

"Wouldn't it be great if twitter had a roped off VIP section where celebrities could keep their boring tweets to themselves?"

"Hi, I'd like a salamus sandwich, please. ""You mean salami?"" No, just a single salamus. ""Um ok, anything else on that?"" Yes, one pepperonus."

"a boy died in a microwave while playing hide and seek...silly kids these days pretending to be hot pockets"

"Racist comments... Just like grandma used to make"

"Global bee population is drastically dwindling, what can they do to save themselves? Pretty simple. They need to learn English and say Let us bee!"