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Joke of the Day

"Hi, I'd like a salamus sandwich, please. ""You mean salami?"" No, just a single salamus. ""Um ok, anything else on that?"" Yes, one pepperonus."

"Statistics are like a bikini What it reveals is suggestive, but what it conceals is essential."

"I feel bad for people without arms... ... They can't rapidly take off their bottoms when they need to take a massive dump."

"actually, all of my sons are named after guns. you got gunden, gunley, bungun, gunch, and this here is gun junior"

"Him: How does my football throw look to you? Me: Like you're good at science..."

"BAE: come over ME: we live together im sitting right here BAE: my parents arent home ME: what is wrong with you"

"What do you say to your laces to make them go away? Shoo laces"

"Isn't it so wierd when you're thinking about someone and then they suddenly appear? Anyway my dad just caught me browsing r/jokes"

"Do you know if Stephen Hawking still has his old phone number? Everytime I call, a machine answers."

"what does the fox say dingdingdingdingdingding"