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Joke of the Day
"Young enough to know I can, old enough to know I shouldn't, stupid enough to do it anyway."
Next Joke
"ME: need help? GIRL (having car trouble): could u give me a jump ME (inflating the bounce house I keep in my trunk): I thought u'd never ask"
"What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater ? 'Claws.'"
"I went for sushi with Luke Skywalker and he was struggling with chopsticks... ""Use the fork, Luke!"" I said."
"Did you hear about the new toilet upstairs? That's some next level shit"
"What do you award to someone who comments in a thread from a month ago? Reddit Old"
"So there was a stork carrying an old man.. ..and the old man turns to it and says: ""Would you at last admit it that we are lost?"""
"What do you call a person of Irish and Asian descent? Rice Paddy. - Edit: Credit goes to my nickname from some clever fucker classmate when I was a kid."
"Boss: It's almost quitting time. Drinks? Me: In my top desk drawer. Help yourself. Boss:..."
"I like my TVs like I like my women... Smart and curved."