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Joke of the Day

"Since there are more Chinese people than any other race on Earth, does that mean they have normal eyes and we have big crazy googly ones?"

"I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide alarm... ...the loud ringing noise from it was giving me a headache and making me dizzy."

"I love Alfredo sauce. Unless you're a dude named Alfredo."

"How do rhinos like their eggs? Poached."

"A man and a Giraffe walk into a bar. The Giraffe gets drunk and falls on the floor unconscious. The bartender says ""you can't leave that lyin' there."" The man says ""its not a Lion, its a Giraffe"""

"What is Bill Clintons favorite instrument to play? His Whore-Monica"

"My mom always said that I'd never find a man dumb enough to marry me. Well, I showed her..."

"I ran my car into a pole The poor bastard never saw me coming"

"This Halloween I will be dressing up as Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 by RSVPing to all possible parties & attending absolutely none of them."

"Pampered Cow What do you get from a pampered cow?"