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Joke of the Day

"""I'm done with this shit."" He thought as he closed Reddit, locked his phone and stood up."

"The word ""methamphetamine"" looks like it was written by somebody using it."

"The only thing between me & a killing spree is the fact that I'd have to poop in front of people in prison."

"Why can't you tell a Philosophy Student a good joke? You need to give a three hour lecture and turn in a research paper on ""What is 'good'?"" first."

"#presidentfacts Barack Obama is the first president in nearly 80 years to choose a water type as his starting Pokemon"

"One fun thing about having a crappy car is abruptly shutting off the air conditioner on the highway and pretending you have a hyperdrive."

"What kind of people have the most beautiful eyes? Beekeepers. Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder."

"Don't invest in SeaWorld It's really starting to tank"

"Why are women so afraid of looking stupid? Because they don't want the world to know!"

"""You're still a winner,"" Pinocchio whispered into his third drink. He wept as his nose grew to touch the glass."