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Joke of the Day

"#presidentfacts Barack Obama is the first president in nearly 80 years to choose a water type as his starting Pokemon"

"The Germanwings plane was a lot like a small flame used as an ignition source You know, 'cause it was a pilot light"

"A threesome? No...if I wanted to disappoint two people at the same time I would go to dinner with my parents"

"If you accidentally get stuck holding the door for a bunch of people. 1. Relax 2. Accept your fate 3. You are part of the building now"

"There are three people in this world The ones that can count, and the ones that cant."

"How do you spell ""nose"" is Spanish? nose"

"I forgot my phone so I asked this guy what time it was. He said ""time to get a watch"" & laughed. So I kicked him in the balls. It was 6:30."

"Donald Trump, candidate for President, reaffirmed for America that we shouldn't worry about the size of his genitals. Now that's classy... With a capital KKK."

"The second I feel pressured to do something, I'm out of there faster than a dog who hears his name and knows it's bath time."

"THIS IS THE COPS. WE KNOW YOU HAVE NWA'S ""FU*CK THE POLICE"" ON REPEAT IN THERE. COME OUT & SAY SORRY TO OFFICER DAVIS. YOU MADE HIM CRY DUDE"