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Joke of the Day

"A mountain was next to another mountain.. An earthquake happens and one of the mountains say.. ""It wasn't my fault!"" credit to my awesome science teacher"

"I want to own a basketball franchise in Miami and I want to name the team humidy... Then when someone asks if its the heat I can go ""its not the heat, its the humidity."""

"(x) calls up a popular restaurant... The owner says, ""Sorry, we don't cater functions."""

"If the shoe fits, wear it... Unless you found it near a bouncy castle, you creep."

"Two maggots were fighting in dead ernest, poor old Ernest."

"I bought my son a trampoline But all he wanted to do was sit and cry in his wheelchair - This was a repost but I thought it was too funny not to share"

"My ultimate dream is to move back home, open up a bar and run it with all of my friends, and then burn it down for the insurance money"

"My wife has a colostomy I get a little action on the side"

"I don't understand why everyone is mad at Lance Armstrong... Like I give him props... Have you ever tried biking before on drugs? It's fucking hard."

"Hey girl, is your dad a plumber? Because I wanna shit in your mouth."