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Joke of the Day

"I don't understand why everyone is mad at Lance Armstrong... Like I give him props... Have you ever tried biking before on drugs? It's fucking hard."

"Why do girls wear so much make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink."

"What do robots do on a one night stand? He nuts and bolts"

"What if that light at the end of the tunnel you see when you die is just you being born from another vagina?"

"I used to work at an orange juice factory... I got fired cuz I couldn't concentrate"

"Why do women find Christian Grey so appealing? Beats me."

"I heard there was a paedophile roaming my neighbourhood. I don't know who it could be, nearly all of my neighbours are sexy little kids..."

"What do you call an Asian male with no penis? An Asian porn star"

"We have essentially Elected 4chan for the 45th president of the United States. This is a day that will go down in Infameme."

"My attorney likes to earn from my mistakes."