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Joke of the Day

"I want to own a basketball franchise in Miami and I want to name the team humidy... Then when someone asks if its the heat I can go ""its not the heat, its the humidity."""

"If you could create a pill, what would it be for and what would the side effects be?"

"There was a cricket on my toilet seat so I just backed out awkwardly. Lock the door next time, bro."

"[interview] My biggest weakness is that I'm too literal ""That's fine. Your resume looks good, welcome aboard!"" *turns to whiteboard* welcome"

"http://reddit.com/r/MensRights/"

"A Mexican once tried to steal my golf clubs.. so I had to shoot a hole-in-juan."

"What do you call a Nun in a wheelchair Virgin Mobile Stolen from r/christianity"

"I walked up to my 9yo and said, ""How goes it?"" He looks up at me and says, ""God is history's greatest serial killer."""

"ARUGULA is my favorite vegetable whose name sounds like a car horn from the 50's."

"I stopped a kidnapping today.. I woke him up"