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Joke of the Day

"{Favorite Halloween Prank at Walmart} Old Lady: Your son is adorable 4 yr. old: *running down aisles* Me: Mam' My son died 10 years ago."

"What is this the difference between America and Greece? 15 years."

"So a baby seal walks into a club ........ ^^^that's ^^^it."

"I love it when people use a hashtag at the end of a tweet to explain the tweet. #usingtheliterarydeviceknownassarcasmhere"

"""Waking up when you got a baby, you feel like you drank a bottle of whiskey the night before, except the shit's in someone else's pants."""

"I just saw the movie 50 Shades of gray You could say it had a huge climax."

"Me: I'm super funny. I mean, how could 13K people be wrong? Husband: There were WAY more people in the Nazi party. Me:................."

"The United Nations is like a black father You know it exists but it's just never there when you need it ."

"We're having a lawnmower sale down at Lowes Buy one get Juan free!"

"Practiced my breakup on my cats last night and today they are gone."