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Joke of the Day
"Thou shalt not commit adulthood"
Next Joke
"Don't worry if you're not part of a clique. You can get the same experience by running through a minefield."
"Me: I'll have a beer Waiter: it's 10am Me: I'll have a beer and some scrambled eggs"
"Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I cant even get into my own pants."
"Fucking terrorists. I guess I can't google ""nice truck"" anymore to find out about the latest pickups on the market...."
"Based on the amount of laundry I did today I have to assume there are people living in this house I haven't met yet."
"I may have to divorce my wife... My son broke both his arms today."
"What is mostly white, dull, and wants to be popular? This post."
"Dear sleep, I know we had problems when I was younger, but now I love you."
"Friend: ""What's a good movie?"" Me: ""Snakes on a plane"" Friend: ""Whats it about?"" Me: ""Horses... horses on a boat"""