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Joke of the Day

"Thou shalt not commit adulthood"

"My thoughts on the recent events by the Reddit Staff [removed]"

"So the Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop And he says ""Can you make me one with everything"""

"My friend came out of closet to me recently ""I am gay"", he said to me. I didn't believe my friend. I thought he was kidding. I said... ""How can you say that with such a straight face?"""

"Marriage Tip: Try not to leave a footprint on your spouse's ass as they get out of the car when you drop them at the airport."

"You know why ancient Greek children were always getting lost from their parents? 'Cause they kept Roman around!"

"Did you hear about the redneck family campout? It was fucking intense"

"I'm not racist... I'm not racist, cause racism is a crime, and crime is for black people."

"*boss at staff meeting* Hey, do you have anything positive to add to this meeting? Yeah, I just realized I can sleep with my eyes open."

"""Mom! I'm going out!"" - You're not leaving this house until you change that miniskirt - Why not? - Because I can see your balls, Richard."