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Joke of the Day

"Marriage Tip: Try not to leave a footprint on your spouse's ass as they get out of the car when you drop them at the airport."

"Why didn't the circle want to become 3 dimensional? S'fear."

"The other day I held the door for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester."

"me: siri tell me a joke siri: *turns on front facing camera*"

"Why did the couple bring a melon to their honeymoon? Because they cantaloupe..."

"Too bad Anne Frank never saw Home Alone. Could have been a serious game changer in my opinion."

"What does the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip!"

"The White Stripes Knock, knock! Who's there? Meg White's most complex drumbeat. --- ^(Stolen from 4chan's /mu/ board: http://redd.it/2cl0cw)"

"The game ""HANGMAN"" teaches our children the valuable lesson about how not being able to figure out an answer can be punishable by death."

"A slightly drunk woman is watching tv... She yells, ""Don't go there! Don't go up the stairs! Don't go into the church you dumb bitch!"" Her husband asks, ""What are you watching?"" ""Our wedding video."""