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Joke of the Day
"I cumfonted my girlfriend this morning... What did she have to say? Get me a towel."
Next Joke
"Walk up to a girl, sniff her hair, and whisper ""Perfect. Master will love you."" This is a great way to increase your tolerance to Mace..."
"What do you call someone with no body and just a nose ? Nobody knows"
"When colleges ask for my leadership activities... ""I'm a mod on reddit."""
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Unless that beholder is your mom cause we all know that doesn't count."
"When a Jehovah Witness dies, Heaven turns off all the lights and pretends no one is home."
"A man carrying a tombstone walked up to a skeleton taking a break from his casket. He asked the skeleton, ""Is it okay if I leave this tombstone here?"" The skeleton replied, ""Yes, over my dead body."""
"You know why you shouldn't eat spaghetti late at night? Because it'll keep you up Pasta you bedtime."
"Don't EVER let anyone tell you you're not worth anything. You can get at least ten grand for one of your kidneys."
"Have you heard of that movie Gravity? I heard it was... full of suspense"